So Thankful

As I have been preparing for Thanksgiving today, I remembered what was happening in our lives one year ago at this time. I was pregnant with Garrett and absolutely thrilled. Greg and I had prayed for a couple of years to be blessed with a baby, and we had just found out we were expecting a little boy. I have never been more excited about anything in my entire life and bought more BLUE in all its shades than I would care to admit.

One day after school, I was listening to the messages on my phone and had a message from my doctor. He said he needed to talk to me and asked me to call him back. I didn't think a whole lot of it and called back, but he was unavailable. I called my sister (who was also expecting a baby and had the same doctor) and mentioned to her that the doctor had called and asked her if he had ever called her. She was trying to act nonchalant about it, but I could tell she was concerned about the fact that the doctor himself had called to talk to me. Of course, I started getting worried and called back to talk to him, but he was still busy. I kept my phone with me the whole night, but the doctor never called. Greg and I were trying to be positive, but everything is scary for new parents-to-be! I kept reassuring myself that if something was seriously wrong he definitely would have called me back as soon as possible.

I didn't sleep much that night, and of course, I called the doctor first thing in the morning, and of course, he was busy! (You would think the man had nothing to do besides sit around and wait for my phone calls.) I explained to the receptionist that I had received a call from him and was really worried and asked if he could please call me as soon as possible. I remember getting up and walking out of a meeting at school when my phone rang and it was finally him! Doctors are pros at downplaying and being calm, so he just explained that they needed me to come back in for another ultrasound. I asked him if everything was okay and he answered by telling me they needed to get a better look at some things they saw from my previous ultrasound. He also mentioned it would be a good idea to have my husband come with me. My heart sank. I remember calling Greg and both of us trying hard to be tough, but we were scared.

The next few days were hard ones. I had just started to show a tiny bit and I could feel the baby moving inside me. I was so proud of this little guy and I couldn't stand the thought of something being wrong with him. At first, I prayed fervently that our baby would be totally healthy and not have any problems. But then I thought of all the families I knew whose lives had been blessed by special needs children and I realized that blessings come in all shapes and sizes. I changed my prayers and pleaded to just have a baby we could bring home and raise. We had wanted this baby so badly, and it seemed so awful to think of losing him now. We knew, however, that this was a possibility, so ultimately we prayed to choose to have the faith to accept whatever the Lord's plan was for our little family.

After a few agonizingly long days, we went back in to meet with the doctor. He explained to us that the ultrasound tech had noticed a cyst on his brain. (Talk about a good actress---I had no idea anything was wrong!) He explained that the cyst could have just developed from fluid from the spinal cord (or something like that) and could have gone away, or it could be an indicator of a much bigger problem. Often times, children with a Trisomy condition similar to Down's Syndrome have these cysts. If the cyst was still there, he would be sending us on to specialists for further testing. He took us in to do the ultrasound, and of course, Garrett didn't want to move in the right direction, so it took him several minutes to finally find the right spot. We were so relieved when he looked at the brain from several different angles and could find no evidence of a cyst anywhere.

It was just a few days before Thanksgiving, and I can honestly say I have never been more grateful for anything in my life. Thanksgiving had a special meaning for us last year and we were so full of gratitude. Now, one year later, I look at Garrett crawling around and I am so grateful to have this little redhead in our home. I'm not sure why the Lord blessed us with Garrett when he did, when so many others are suffering. I have been so touched and humbled as I have read other people's blogs and seen the tragedy and heartache so many are experiencing. I know trials are a part of life and our family will be blessed with our fair share, but regardless of what life brings, I am hoping we will choose to always be grateful for the good things in life.



When I saw these Thanksgiving jammies, I knew Garrett had to have them. They sum up his little life quite perfectly!